quishasmile's Xanga

____ confused.

Sun, 19 Nov 2006 09:23:31 GMT

so yup, sunday. haven't blog for long time.. grounded plus i'm so stressed from school. the start of the academic week is on tuesday already. so harsh. dasayawit plus math cheering and words on fire for english. waaah. everything's comin' down on me all at once. but good thing there's the academic week, so there's a gap in studying. students like me don't really like to study forever. hahahaha.=)

so yup, i'm confused again. torn in between. i'm not sure who's supposed to love. i feel guilty again for hurting someone. i know either way, one's going to be hurt. so yeah whatever, i shall wait for God's plan nalang.

anyway, Francis is leaving. i'm going to miss my soulmate. though yeah, he told me they're not sure yet but if he leaves, i'm going to miss him. he's like my backmate and seatmate this third year. he really made me smile a lot. and i really thank God for letting him be someone i know.

okaay enough. that's dramatic.

so i don't really know what to do with my life now. do i love him or him? I'M HELL CONFUSED.

random

Fri, 03 Nov 2006 09:14:09 GMT

my life's getting sweeter right now. i miss my casper a lot. =) two days 'til school and yeah, i admit it, i'm still lazy, but i can't do anything. oh wtf? cards will be out. oh no, i hope my parents won't ground me. i'm already looking forward for my low grades because second year was really tough for me. it was hard. and my quarterly exams wasn't that good. so yeah, bahala na.

so tommorow's the celebration of rya's birthday. we'll be hanging out in her father's place in makati. swimming and stuff. i just hope the whole weewatz is there to celebrate with her. but i guess only a few, kyra's not coming and i'm not sure about ynnuh, grai, and feeya. so anyway, what else?

i'm craving for gummybears like now. would someone please just give me?

thank you God.

Fri, 03 Nov 2006 04:48:00 GMT

well, i have no one to share my insights about my life right now. since i missed blogging, i'd love to post it here and share how thankful i am that God gave me this life.

well, i've already experienced a lot of relationships with no commitment. well, i guess God just wanted it that way. i've been happy with them but still, we weren't for each other. but i still thank God for bringing them into my life because those people made me realize a lot of things about life. well, if you really know me, i'm serious when it comes to that though i still look immature and act immature. i've been careful in taking care of my own heart as well as others. i'm afraid to hurt other people, but sometimes, i end up hurting them. because that's just the way it is. pain can make us realize things, if pain won't attack us, the tendency is we don't learn anything. i've also had regrets about my past life, but still, life still teaches me to move on and forget them. through all the pain God gave me, he still helped me overcome all of this.

Most people say that they cut their self to take away the pain from having their heart broken or from being hurt, I've never cut my self but I think that cutting yourself doesnt take away the other pain it just makes you focus on the cut. But the pain from being broken hearted or what ever is still there even though your not focused on it at the moment you cut yourself it comes back eventually!

now, i am already happy with my life. though yeah, i still want a lot of things pero mga tipong luho ko nalang yun sa buhay. my life is already complete and i can't ask anything more. i have the perfect set of family whom i know is always there for me. i have my parents who teaches me a lot of things about life. they also guide me in a lot of things. they help me distinguish the right from wrong. they help me make my life better. though sometimes, i get scolded by them, i understand why they do those things to me. their rants about me help me realize my mistakes. learning from them even makes my self feel good. i also have my brother and sister who makes me laugh and help me forget about my problems in life. even though they're still kids, they also make me realize a lot of things. i'm so thankful God gave me to them. I can say I also have the perfect set of friends who makes me feel better everytime something bad happens to me. Valasuvas and Weewatz. you guys are the best! i just hope you feel how thankful I am to have you here in my life.

Vv, i know we don't see each other that much anymore but i hope you still feel how important you guys are to me. we we're friends already back to our freshmen year and it even rocks knowing that we're getting stronger. too bad i can't spend my senior year with you. kung kelan kompleto na tayo. i promise to keep in touch with you guys. i love you so much.

Weewatz, thank you guys for accepting me and letting me feel welcome. akala ko talaga dati magiging loser ako. but thanks to you guys, you made me not. hahaha! =) ayun, thanks for the memories. you guys make my day in school less suck. love you so much.

so that, what? kind of emotional ba? i just really feel like saying what i feel now. i really thank God for a lot of things. I also thank him for completing my life. he's casper. hahaha. i love him already and praying that things would work fine for us.

Casper, thanks for making me happy. you completed my life and i hope things would be fine for us. i really thank God for knowing you. I love you casper!

so that's it guys, i have to go already. thanks for reding. lovelove =)

my heart is crushed

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 11:25:41 GMT

so this is an awesome day. guess what people, it's the first time i ate BALUT. this is so unbelievable man. ahaha and i'm proud. wahahahaha. shocks, i still have hangover. well anyways, i just made a poem a while ago during chemistry time. actually poems! wahaha. just read it.. it shows how i feel.

As I listen to voices
All I hear is you
Eventhough you're far away,
All I wanna be is with you
Though my worlds is senseless,
Without you is I something I can't do
All the things I have now,
The one lacking is you
As I listen to songs,
Every line leads back to you
A lot of things make my day,
Jumping to conclusions don't make me want to stay
I just wish you're beside me,
Making a way just to be happy

Actually, there's one pa. but i'm too lazy to post it. next time nalang..

Whoot. Fridaaaaaaaaaay na. Ohyeah.

all good.

Wed, 18 Oct 2006 11:13:52 GMT

bwahaha. this day was awesome. i swear.. from morning until afternoon. i was happy really! =)

morning, i was with him. yup, and it was all paulina's fauuuuuuult. hahaha but because of my pashy effect, i didn't talk to him that much. i was tooooooo shy. bwahaha. so yun, it made my day good though.

after that, batch meeting at the fba auditorium. the batch meeting was successfull though. they made this batch reformation organization. sana effective naman. though yup, i'm kind of pasaway din but i'll really try my best to get rid of those violations. [ ohno, goodbye eyeliners ]

hahahahaha =) what else? english time. grabe super topak. hahahaha ms jessica was our teacher again and she told us to have a nametag. since she doesn't know me yet, i wrote on my nametag "haley" wahaha. then when i was about to recite, she called me that. wahaha then francis' name was PANCHITO! wahaha nakakatopak talaga. hahaha then yun..

after break, its our chemistry time but unfortunately ms. mariliz is absent again. i do miss her though. i had news that she her heart was clogged. i'm just praying for her. she's a nice teacher though. so yun, i just wish that she'll feel better soon. pero nung chemistry time, i was playing concentration with my other classmates. grabe, super punong puno na ko ng powder sa face kasi pag nagkamali ka tatapunan ka ng powder sa face. wahaha pero it was fun.. realllllllllly =) so yun.. i just like this day so much so i decided to blog. i was only dropping by.

she'sfalling

Tue, 17 Oct 2006 11:06:53 GMT

so yeah, been long since i last blogged. a lot of things happened to me really..

i already told him that i was falling for him already. though yeah, it was way too long ago na when i had this feeling for him but i chose not to feel it. and now atlast, i told him already. it was good though. i never imagined myself letting him know because i was too shy and i was really afraid of how he'll react. but it's good. everything's good i guess.. =) i'm already happy with it. lalala.

so what else? i'm too excited for bandage. valasuvas and comtech reunion. hahahaha i haven't bonded with them since last last last week? i'm not sure but hell i miss them already. those concerts we always watch last year together. it was really fun. seeing those peeps will sure make me happy. grabe, i still remember our freshmen year, the love between some of vv and comtech. hahaha but now, eesah & lemy nalang. then pao & blanche. grabe, eesah and lemy. they're already 1year and blahblah months. hahaha.. i also miss starbucks moments. catechism fridays.. hahaha when we used to teach little kids and prepare food for them. haha wala lang.. i just really miss it..

but i'm happy in seton already. i met a lot of people already and i'm enjoying my precious time with them. life's good man! =) i guess.. i just thank God for everything. he really makes me happy..

hahaha anyway, i had tutor a while ago but we really didn't study as in study. we were just talking about stuffs. then me and gemi was the only ones left. we went outside while i was waiting for my sundo. we were talking about God and stuffs. lovelife and anything. grabe.. hahaha i shared to her one of my dream dates! hahaha its like this: in a big big soccer field, the stars are brightly shining and it rains. then we'lll both get wet and he'll and we'll run around and play and stuff. hahaha grabe, ang sabog. haha wala lang.. super dami pa nun. a lot of things are entering my mind naman kasi noh. so anyway.. i'll just have to end this here. i'll post again when something special happens to me. i promise. hahaha.

listen.

Sat, 07 Oct 2006 10:21:19 GMT

i just got home from glorietta again. bonding with vv. sayang di na ko nakasama sa egg. well, next time. i enjoyed their company naman. i miss them a lot now. so anyway.. la lang..

life's not really a great mess. but a lot of things just keep entering my mind. i have a lot of confusions and i don't know what to do with them already. i can't spill it all out here in my entry dahil ang dami makakabasa.. sometimes i really just want to be alone focusing on things i really want to think about. my feelings are unclear and it sucks. i don't know what to do with them already. hayy tears are falling down from my eyes now. i'm so confused. bahala na si God. alam ko na siya lang makakatulong sa kin. and now, i just don't feel like sharing what i feel to anyone. and labo. sana maging okay na ang lahat sa buhay ko. i really don't care kung masaktan ako or anything, i just want everything to be clear. about how i feel..

i'm really not rushing everything up, its just, nahihirapan lang ko. kung bakit ganun or ganyan. i don't even know kung bakit umiiyak ako ngayon. haaay.. i just want to be happy at same time clear lahat..

anyway, exams on monday. God help me. much love people. :>

collide. </3

Sat, 30 Sep 2006 11:25:34 GMT

yay! thank God there's electricity already. grabe, 3 freakin' days without electricity. what the hell? hahaha but goodness there is na.

so yeah, grabe. manila's a wreck. super when you look at the streets, its a mess. many trees was ruined and a lot of structures fell down. like the billboards or something. the other day, we're so lucky any of dad's billboards were not ruined, because if that happens, we'll have problem with money. siyempre, its the only business we have then it will get ruined pa. that sucks naman di ba. hahahaha =) pero grabe, that storm didn't pass that easily. many houses have been ruined, posts that have fallen, people died and a lot lot more. grabe. though the rain wasn't that strong, the wind was so strong. no stir. thats why the whole manila is wrecked. and this sucks.

so yup, two days no classes. i've missed my classmates already. hahahaha =) i'd rather choose going to school than stay here inside the house with no electricity at all. exams in a week and i have a feeling that it will be moved. we're not done yet with all the lessons i guess. so yun.

i have a lot of plans for this month. my sister's birthday is on monday. she's 10! hahahaha =) so yeah, i don't definitely know what her plan is. hahaha.. what else, this october vv's planning a sleepover here. but there's still no exact date. then bandfest ng db. comtech and vv reunion. whoohoo. ano pa ba. basta madami pa! hahaha =) i just miss vv so much that i wanna spend my remaining days of the week with them. hahaha =)

so what else? basta yun. i bought this new book, stainless longanissa. i just bought it a while ago and i read 3/4 of the book already. saya nakakatawa. ahahaha =) so anyway, i'm just going to post again when i'm in the mood. i'm not in the mood to write really. i just wanna share what happened these past few days. lala.

you make me alive.

Wed, 27 Sep 2006 11:03:55 GMT

hayy. i'm currently listening to the song alive by frio. i find the song very nice. it's kind of cool i guess.

so yeah, school's good i guess. i still haven't took my missed quiz in accounting. i can't find sir rene nung lunch then nung dismissal, he went home na yata. so yeah, no classes tommorow. hahaha this is so cool. i'll patch up with my sleep.. medyo puyat lately kaya yun. maybe one of the reasons kaya my height isn't growing. this sucks. hahaha haaaay so i'm chatting with blanche now. i miss her a lot already. sobra. she'll come back here in the phil. around december. same with ionne, too bad. they're gonna be back in csr na and i'm the only one not there during our 4th year. they're going to graduate together. i mean vv. haaayy but its alright.. i'll just keep in touch with them the best i can.

so yup, i'm desperate na talaga in having a lovelife. though many people say its nice to be single, parang wala lang, iba pa rin talaga yung feeling. and i really really miss it. pero yun nga, i still can't find the right guy for me. i'm not asking for the right one na yung tipong i'll be with him forever. parang i just want a guy who won't hurt me and fill the lackness over my life. pero wala lang, maybe i still haven't met the guy for me. and its not yet maybe the right time to fall in love again. there's always a right time for everything. i'll wait. :) i know God will give me what i want. he loves me so much.

what else? exams next week.. math's good. sobrang babawi talaga ako. no proving! oh yeaaaahh. i'm close to heaven. ahaha joke kidding. hayy i'm kind of tired really.. even my mind is tired. i spent a lot of time thinking about things i really don't want to think. i kind of want school din naman, because it lets me forget all my problems. well not all, but it helps me. lalo na when there's someone whom i can open up to. it really feels good. so yeah, for now, i really wanna clear up my mind na. and stay focus on my grades. pft.

so i'm kinda emo again. this sucks man. hahahahaha. sometimes i just want to crrrrrrrry and shout and let my feelings out.

life speaks..

Tue, 26 Sep 2006 11:12:09 GMT

yeah, i really feel good to have this blog. its one of my outlet of feelings in life. it just really feels good, you know, when i don't really feel like talking to anyone else in this world, at least i have my blog. people can't control what i really write here because its mine. haha =) so yeah, a lot of thoughts are really conveying my mind now. same old things, school, lovelife, friends etc..

lets start with school. i think i'm failing, schools hard man. i'm already stressed with all the seatworks, quizzes and etc. some of the topics, i still don't get. so anyway, quarterly exams are waiting, so i guess i just have to patch my grades through that. whatdya think? hahahaha! :P i promise to studddyyy hard. no joke. hahaha! i don't wanna fail you know.

lovelife? hmm nothing really. i just really miss the feeling being in love deeply. i just really came from a 5 month not really relationship 'cause no commitments, and i really experienced a lot of conflicts, arguments with him. and i was scared to face those again so i'm not really that in love. not giving anyone the chance pero ewan ko. i realized if i'm just going to be scared my whole life, nothing will happen. so ayun, i'm ready to give chances already but i don't wanna hurt anyone either. i just wanna be inlove again. =)

friends, i miss vv so much and i'm having fun with wee watz talaga. hehe la lang, saya kasi laughtrip palagi and everything. and they really are special to me. they always help me sa problems chaka i can feel na open talaga sa isa't isa :P so yun, school life's kind of good with them i guess!

but still, everytime i'm alone, nothings new, the emo feelings still comes and make me think about things talaga. pero its still alright, it makes me realize how thankful am i to have this life. unlike those of others, kasi alam mo yun, when i see street children sa road parang wala lang, nakakaawa lang. parang why don't they enjoy their life like i enjoy mine di ba? ewan ko. kaya when i see little kids selling sampaguita, talagang bumibili ako. just to help them. haha.. so yun, i'm happy i'm done with my homeworks na. hayyy wednesday tommorow, double period math. how life sucks nga naman. hahaha kidding. so yeah, there's always a way to enjoy my day :P